Male Perspective on Sugar Daddies

published 27 July 2010

I've been known to be a tough critic on weddings, but there was nothing to complain about at the one I attended over the weekend in San Diego: There was a great band, lots of family, an excellent cocktail hour, and easy traffic flow to all bars.

My family stayed at Hotel Del Coronado, a famous hotel that has hosted presidents and even has a ghost. The hotel is its own contained village.

It was this "cruise ship mentality" that caused my strife. Because you're at sea on a self-contained vessel, they've got you where they want you. So, if you forget something, you can buy it on the cruise ship — but

they can charge you whatever they want because you're stuck on that cruise ship.

I knew I was in trouble when I went to Hotel Del Coronado's bakery for my morning coffee and it was $5.50 for a freshly squeezed orange juice!

Sadly, I had opted out of staying in the "free room" with my parents. I ended up in the suite with my sisters , and it was tough on my wallet. Usually, I'm game to help out with drinks, but I was relieved this past weekend any time my older relatives stepped up to pay.

Before the wedding, I read a fellow MarieClaire.com blogger's post about how to obtain a sugar daddy, and it was pertinent, given my Hotel Del Coronado experience.

I actually disagreed with a couple of points in the post:

Don't Worry That You're Not Young Enough — Actually, I enjoy giving advice and paying for young ladies who are new to NYC out of college. It makes me feel successful and important; honestly, I don't think I can afford an older woman. Seems like an older woman would probably makes more than me!

Don't Worry About Looking Like a Model — I'd be more compelled to spend all my money on a hot girl. Why would I spend tons of money on a girl I didn't think was super-hot?

I'd actually be a bad sugar daddy. Other than making me feel important and helpful, it wouldn't be that rewarding. But I wouldn't want a woman to feel like she owed me anything (especially sex) because I was paying for her. That's a little too "world's oldest profession" for me. Because I'm not rich, and don't even like sex that much, I guess I'm not a candidate to be a sugar daddy anyway.

At first pass, I would appear to be a great candidate for a sugar mama. I'm lazy, haven't met anyone who is compelling enough to build a relationship with, and am romantically jaded.

I long to sit on a yacht and watch TV, wielding the remote with no responsibility. I'd never have to work. It sounds like a wonderful life.

I could write all day, try to make it big with a band (I think all guys secretly want to do this), watch Lifetime Movie Network, and go to weddings at Hotel Del Coronado and take baths in their fresh-squeezed orange juice.

I don't require sex, because I'm convinced that I will never find good sex. And there's no way sex is good with a provider I'm not in love with. But I'd do my best to be arm candy for her family gatherings and fulfill other duties for her.

It may work for some people, but sugar anything is shallow to me. If I fall in love with a poor girl, it's actually romantic: working together to make ends meet...although that romance can fade fast if it doesn't work. And if I fall in love with a rich girl, it is reassuring to know I can go to Hotel Del Coronado and pitch in for fresh-squeezed OJ, but not have to worry about it after the weekend is over.

It's impossible to have the exact same income, but ultimately it's human instinct to want to contribute to a relationship in any way possible.

Having someone "take care of you" eliminates your independence. At that point, you're indebted to that person. Ultimately, you're both being "used" in a way. A loveless "sugar" relationship is bound to get old after a while...no matter how fresh that OJ is at Hotel Del Coronado.

What is your take on sugar daddies and sugar mamas? Do you think it's ever OK to look for that? Can you fall in love with money, or is a "sugar" relationship more about efficiency than love?

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