Does Style Promote Confidence?

Next week I'm going to a dating auction.

Before you slam me for giving up or paying for "services," you should know that all proceeds go to charity. For Facebookers in the NYC area search "bachelorette auction fundraiser" for more information. It will be 12/9 at Social in Midtown.

There are a lot of cute girls that will be parading down that runway. And there are very few dollars in my checking account. Something's gotta give. I'll end up empty handed, and it will be even more obvious that I'm super poor after I try to participate.

It's really interesting to see what's going on behind the scenes with some of the girls who are participating in the auction. My friend has been imploring me to bid on her because she's afraid that no one will bid on her at all. She's very cute, but it makes sense that she would have some anxiety.

I can relate to her fear. I can only imagine how few votes I would get, and the terrible "blurb" that the emcee would read about me as I strutted my stuff:

"He's been single for quite a long time. And, ladies, if you want someone to count on, don't bid on this guy. He is content just sitting in front of the TV and loves being left alone to do whatever he wants. He once told a girl she looked like Jean Benet Ramsey. Oh, and if you go home with him, watch out for his mean cat who enjoys scratching people. We better start the bidding at $0.05."

But even without the run down of my attractive qualities, I am not one of those people who can just get up there and let my looks do the talking. I don't know how many of us out there our that confident.

So my friend who invited me to the auction had her friend come into our office the other day. Turns out that this girl would also be in the auction.

She was definitely bid-worthy. She was so put together; her eyes were a grayish color I've never seen before and she had dark hark. She wore boots, a pretty coat and a Berberry scarf.

Of course, I worked my magic. I mistook her, at first, for a girl I had met before-my friend's cousin. Her hair looked different-not bad, but different. I called across the room:

"Whoa, what did you do to your hair?"

She turned around incredulously. Oops.

"Sorry, I thought you were my friend's cousin!"

Sometimes my "magic" is black magic.

After this debacle, I continued to press my luck. I "hung out" in the section of the office where Berberry scarf girl was hanging with my friend. Then I admitted I was going to bid on her:

"So, you going to wear that Burberry scarf on our date?"

"Sure, and maybe I'll wear it with nothing else," she said sarcastically.

What a comment! That put me on my heels. Why is it that when attractive girls come up with great comments, I'm just left speechless? Maybe attractive girls just leave me speechless in general, comment or no comment.

I'm looking forward to the auction now but, with about $6.79 in my checking account, I will not win this girl. But I will certainly let you know how it goes. If you don't get a chance to read the update, just imagine that my chances are similar to those claws in the glass box that try to grab prizes that you never win.

I wonder if I can do this auction with a credit card?

The lasting memory of this short encounter with this girl, in addition to how cute she was naturally, was her confidence and style: the Berberry scarf she wore, and spun a spicy comment around, her presentation, even her posture. I used to think that confidence was something that came from within. I still think it does, but I'm learning that style can project or complement confidence.

But I think there has to be confidence there to begin with. You can't just buy confidence in the form of clothes during a shopping spree.

iThere's a fine line between over doing it, and looking insecure like you're trying to make up for weaknesses. But do you agree that a person's style can be so well put together that it just projects total confidence?