'You're The Worst' at 10: How the Cult Series' Depiction of the Hellscape That Is Modern Dating Was Ahead Of Its Time

10 years ago on July 17, 2014, FX premiered an unconventional rom-com with the perfect name: You’re The Worst, a show in which everyone genuinely is the worst. Created by Stephen Falk, the L.A.-set black comedy series follows the romance of Jimmy (Chris Geere) and Gretchen (Aya Cash), two narcissistic, cruel, adult children who happen to be perfect for each other. Their meet-cute in the pilot sets the tone for the series’ five-season run: They chat outside of a wedding that Jimmy just ruined by disparaging the bride, his ex, while Gretchen holds a food processor that she’s stolen from the gift table.

The series was lauded by critics and passionate TV fans who loved watching the ensemble cast of broken people navigate modern love. At the time, it was celebrated for its treatment of difficult subjects, from clinical depression to PTSD and veterans’ rights to complicated feelings about the death of a family member. Now, five years after You’re The Worst went off the air in 2019, it’s hard to ignore how the decade-old show feels like a pop culture predecessor to the dumpster fire that modern dating has become. Only a lucky few people would call dating in 2024 rom-com-worthy, but You’re The Worst found humor and romance in selfish people trying their best to define what a happy relationship is for them. It feels ahead of its time in many ways—and whether you’re due for a rewatch or ready to dive in for the first time—like it could be the binge-watch answer to your “Sunday Funday” when the apps have you down, there’s no date on the books, or your latest crush is ruining your life.

Gretchen and Jimmy were notoriously cynical, and nowadays, it’s hard not to find a single 20 or 30-something who sounds just like them when talking about dating. It seems as though every week we’re retweeting viral articles from The Cut or inundated with TikToks about how looking for love in 2024 is a “nightmare” and “horror stories” abound, or how “dating culture has become selfish” and “like a second job.” It’s also been reported that dating apps are in their “flop era” when it comes to coupling up or even matching with people—a far cry from when the characters on You’re The Worst used them as successful, quick hookup tools.

The term “situationship” wasn’t even around when You’re The Worst first premiered, but it’s also a perfect definition for Jimmy and Gretchen’s dating history before each other. So then when they meet each other, the show sets up a compelling journey of two complicated people who have doubts about the value of love, or if they deserve it themselves—much like what many of us on Hinge, Bumble, or otherwise wonder today.

Jimmy Shive-Overly is a sarcastic British author who buys too much into the idea of himself as a tortured genius; eventually, it’s revealed that his self-importance is in response to a childhood of bullying. Gretchen is the unpredictable publicist to a trio of rappers with monikers like Shitstain and Honey Nutz. She’s quick to throw snide comments, which can turn into major self-loathing. Both of them believe that they’re better than the normies who “buy in” to things like domesticity and kindness—so they go to great lengths to remain blasé, even though their natural chemistry drives them to spend every night together. Season 1 is a saga of push and pull.

You’re The Worst then subverts the idea of a happily-ever-after for Gretchen and Jimmy in two ways: through excellent characterization of the central couple, and by setting up foils showing that the traditional ending point for a romantic relationship can often be a trap. Becca (Janet Varney) and Vernon (Todd Robert Anderson), the couple whose wedding brought Jimmy and Gretchen together, are very rarely happy. Vernon’s an overgrown frat boy and Becca is a petty shrew who goes more and more MAGA throughout the series, and they’re a constant reminder that, even as a wealthy doctor and housewife, they're nowhere near the ideal couple. Gretchen’s chaotic bestie Lindsay (Kether Donohue) is similarly in a flawed relationship, as she gave up a party-girl lifestyle to marry hobby enthusiast and human blob Paul (Allan McLeod). She chafes against Paul’s need for commitment by acting out in various ways, from cheating to cuckolding to literally stabbing him when his controlling “nice-guy” ways make her feel trapped in a life she should technically want, but doesn’t.

When I first watched You’re The Worst as it was airing, my then 19-year-old self didn’t know what to do with much of its examination of traditional marriage. Today, I recognize many of Gretchen, Jimmy, Edgar, and Lindsay’s dating woes as a supercharged, absurd version of where dating culture was headed, as courtship got more inherently selfish and vulnerability was seen more and more as a weakness. I also appreciate how the show separated the nuclear family as the end-goal from a fulfilling relationship; Gretchen and Jimmy are meant to be, but they’re not meant to be that. Instead, everything they go through in the series helps them grow and figure out how they can build their version of a healthy relationship.

The most romantic storyline of Gretchen and Jimmy’s love story comes throughout season 2 when Gretchen and Jimmy are in a committed relationship and cohabitating. Early episodes end with hints of discord; Gretchen keeps sneaking out of their Silver Lake home in the middle of the night to cry, and she has even less patience for her friends than usual. The episode “There Is Not Currently A Problem” takes place entirely at the glass-walled house, as Gretchen, Jimmy, and their orbit friends get trapped amid the street closures of the L.A. Marathon. Gretchen spirals throughout the day at the inability to escape, and eventually, she blows up at everyone there, crossing a line and throwing harsh grenades at each of her friends' and Jimmy’s deepest insecurities. “All of you, sucking the air out of the room with your self-pity-riddled non-problems!” Gretchen screams in a tone that sounds more like desperation than rage.

Once she cools off, Gretchen finally admits to herself why she’s been hiding behind her cynicism for so long: “I am clinically depressed,” she tells Jimmy. With this admission, Gretchen truly shows all of herself to Jimmy. It's the kind of romantic vulnerability that would have made who Jimmy was when they first met run for the hills, but instead, they try to make it work.

Nowadays there’s much more cultural conversation around mental health and neurodivergence, with both groundbreaking depictions in art and viral trends on social media helping people understand the many ways that conditions like depression and anxiety can manifest. In 2024, we know that there can be more to depression than the common perception of general hopelessness, including how cluttered depression rooms signal extreme fatigue rather than laziness and that mood swings and irritability are just as common symptoms as despondence. When I first watched You’re The Worst nearly a decade ago, I recognized my most unhinged self in “cool girl” Gretchen’s snide remarks, erratic decisions, and procrastination amid minor catastrophes. Rewatching the show, now seven years into my own journey of diagnosed clinical depression is just as cathartic.

Gretchen’s depressive episode is hard for Jimmy to deal with. First, he believes that he can fix her with a Spooky Sunday Funday filled with Gretchen’s favorite things, mainly murder tours and a haunted house that crosses the line toward literal torture. When this doesn’t work, because depression is something you manage, not cure, Jimmy’s dejected and tempted by a hot bar owner, who still has the “cool girl” veneer that Gretchen had before he truly got to know her. In “Other Things You Could Be Doing,” Gretchen tells him plainly: Depression is part of who she is, and he has to be okay with it. Jimmy makes a choice. Rather than running off to Tahoe with the bar owner, he stays. He builds a blanket fort around Gretchen, accepting and supporting her instead of trying to change her. Season 2 ends with Gretchen deciding to start medication and therapy, but there’s a more significant development saved for the final moment. She and Jimmy say “I love you” for the first time.

It’s hard to believe that You’re The Worst sits among the most romantic shows ever when it’s populated with couples who do horrible things to each other (including but not limited to hiding the death of a partner’s parent, ghosting for three months after a proposal, and a literal stabbing.) The comedy deserves to be remembered this way because it’s at its strongest when exploring what real love can be, and how people need to work through their issues (depression, PTSD, childhood trauma, take your pick) to be there for their partners.

Speaking with The A.V. Club after the series finale, creator Stephen Falk shared his hopes for You’re The Worst’s legacy. “I want to be remembered as a really good version of a romantic comedy that both played with and sometimes poked fun at the standard tropes of rom-coms, but at the end of the day actually adhered to them and became a really good example of the genre.” Not only were Gretchen and Jimmy a rom-com couple ahead of their time (spoiler alert, they get an HEA), but they also paved the way for a new generation of TV love stories. 10 years after You’re The Worst premiered, the subverted, realistic rom-com has built out into a television subgenre, from Starstruck to Mr. and Mrs. Smith to Ted Lasso to even The Bear, depending on where you fall in the SydCarmy wars. (TBH, in so many other ways, You’re The Worst walked so The Bear could run.) If you want to see how depictions of modern dating in television got to his point, You’re The Worst isn’t just an underrated predecessor—it’s also a source of hope.