Four New 'Fifty Shades' Parodies That Are Probably Better Than the Real Thing
"Who interprets surprising and mysterious to mean 'ninja?"
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Fifty Shades is really taking it out of, well, everyone. There's Dakota Johnson, who had to be tied up like a pork loin and dangled from the ceiling. There's Jamie Dornan, who did 345,987 sit-ups every day because we imagined his character having abs. There's Sam Taylor-Johnson, whom, we hope, is taking a nice mental vacation for the rest of the month. And then there's poor you, having to deal with crippling Fifty Shades fatigue.
You know what makes everything better? A clever shot of a clueless couple trying to put a sex swing together, Christian Grey as a Lego, and Vanessa Bayer offering Ben Wa balls to strangers. Praise the Internet.
1. Trojan's Fifty Shades of Pleasure
Moral of the story: Don't use "Nancy" as a safe word.
2. Audi's Elevator Scene featuring Vanessa Bayer
Instead of sending them home with cab fare and a nice fruit basket, Christian Grey gives Audis to all his submissives.(All of us in unison: Oooooooh.)
3. Antonio Toscano's Fifty Shades of Bricks
Dibs on becoming this Lego whisperer's apprentice.
4. Ellen's Deleted Playroom Scene
Turns out Christian's playroom *chortle* contains neither his Xbox nor his BDSM equipment.
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Chelsea Peng is a writer and editor who was formerly the assistant editor at Marie Claire. She's also worked for The Strategist and Refinery29, and is a graduate of Northwestern University. On her tombstone, she would like a GIF of herself that's better than the one that already exists on the Internet and a free fro-yo machine. Besides frozen dairy products, she's into pirates, carbs, Balzac, and snacking so hard she has to go lie down.
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