Prince William’s Delay in Proposing to Kate Middleton Was Actually the Kindest Gesture

Turns out, when Prince William broke up with a devastated Kate Middleton back in 2007, he might actually have been doing her the biggest favor ever, a kind gesture wrapped in temporary heartbreak. William and Kate met in 2001 as first year students at the University of St. Andrews and developed a meaningful friendship—even, at one point, becoming roommates—before beginning their romantic relationship around 2002 or 2003. By 2007, they’d been together for nearly five years, were both 25 and two years out of university, and enduring countless questions from the media and the public at large about when an engagement was coming. Then, the breakup. Though it only lasted a couple of months, The Mirror reports that, rather than intentionally breaking her heart, William was giving Kate a chance to “back out” of committing to royal life and all of the pitfalls (and, let’s be honest, perks) that come along with it. William had seen a difficult marriage in the form of his parents, Prince Charles and Princess Diana, and apparently wanted to make sure that this was really what Kate wanted—not just for the short term, but for her entire life. After all, when you marry a member of the royal family—especially an heir to the throne, as William is—it’s not just a love story, it’s a lifestyle.

Not long before their time apart, William confided in his father and his grandmother, Queen Elizabeth, that he was having doubts about their relationship. Royal expert and author Katie Nicholl said that, over the Christmas holiday in 2006, William had become so anxious about his relationship that he met with the two about it, as she details in her book The Making of a Royal Romance. “William had been having second thoughts and sat down with his father and his grandmother to have a frank discussion about his future with Kate,” she writes. “Both advised him not to hurry into anything.”

After the subsequent breakup a few months later, Her late Majesty was reportedly disappointed by their split. But thankfully, it didn’t last, but the lessons did. Even after they reunited, William didn’t propose to Kate for another three years, in the latter part of 2010. When Tom Bradby asked in their 2010 engagement interview if William waited so long because he was giving a chance for Kate to “back out” of royal life, William said “Massively so.”

“Her and her family, I really want to make sure that they have the best, sort of, guidance and chance to see what life has been like—or what life is like—in the family,” William said at the time. Later in the interview, William added “We were sort of both finding ourselves as such and being different characters and stuff. It was very much trying to find our own way and we were growing up. It was just sort of a bit of space and a bit of things like that, and it worked out for the better.”

Kate, for her part, added “I think at the time I wasn’t very happy about it, but actually it made me a stronger person. You find out things about yourself that maybe you hadn’t realized, or I think you can get quite consumed by a relationship when you are younger, and I really valued that time for me as well, although I didn’t think it at the time.”

Kate, by the way, taught a masterclass in how to handle a breakup during those months in 2007. She took up rowing, signing up for an all-female race team called Sisterhood, which aimed to row 21 miles across the English Channel to raise funds for children’s hospices. Twice a week, the team would wake up at 5 a.m. and hit the water. Kate also enjoyed nightlife and undertook some empowering reading—she was pictured with a copy of the book Love is Not Enough: A Smart Woman’s Guide to Making (& Keeping) Money by Merryn Somerset Webb in her handbag. 

“[The royal family] knew she was a good girl, they knew she wasn’t talking to the media because in between those breakups, she was so stoic and kept her mouth shut and in all of the photographs of her during the breakup, she’s looking ahead,” said royal expert Kinsey Schofield, per The Daily Express. “She just handled herself so well throughout the rollercoaster that was her and Prince William’s dating history leading up to their inevitable marriage. It made Kate a no-brainer—she was the future Queen.”