Losing His Relationship with Princess Kate Was Prince Harry’s “Second Great Loss, After Losing His Mother,” Royal Biographer Says

Prince Harry has described the Princess of Wales as the sister he never had in the past—and, according to royal author Tom Quinn, Harry “really misses that warm, uncomplicated relationship,” he said, per OK. “Losing Kate was Harry’s second great loss, after losing his mother.”

Princess Diana, mother to both Harry and Prince William, died in a car accident in 1997 when Harry was just 12 years old. Years of friction, mostly between brothers William and Harry, has pushed Harry farther apart from Kate, who is distant from him both in geography—they live an ocean away, he in the U.S. and she in the U.K.—but also emotionally, as she battles cancer.

In the past, Harry described Kate as “the sister I’ve never had and always wanted,” and would have been by Kate’s side through her recovery in the relationship of their past. But now, “Both Harry and Meghan have been following Kate’s recovery with huge interest but, sadly, it’s had to be more from afar because their lines of communication with the palace and the Waleses, in particular, are very limited, to say the least,” a source said. “They have had enough information to know that people are excited about the idea of a comeback for Kate, and they’re both relieved and happy to hear that she’s on the mend and may soon be well enough to return to her duties.”

After Kate announced her cancer diagnosis on March 22, Harry and Meghan released a statement of support for their sister-in-law, and “They’ve jointly reached out to send well-wishes, but they’re still not really in a place with Kate to warrant much of a response,” they said, noting that even though the Waleses have been silent, that “hasn’t stopped them from trying to connect.”

Royal biographer Christopher Andersen said that both Kate and King Charles’ respective cancer battles have been at the forefront of both Charles and William’s minds this year: “The King and the Princess of Wales’ cancer battles have made it easier for both King Charles and Prince William to put Harry out of their minds,” Andersen said. “They are both shunning him now because they can’t afford not to—they simply can’t handle the distraction.”

Though it has been understood that William and Harry aren’t speaking, Andersen added that “Charles and Harry aren’t speaking, period,” he said. “The fallout from Spare has been eclipsed by Kate’s and the King’s cancer battles. King Charles and William hadn’t got the time to worry about whether Harry would take more potshots at them. Harry has already gotten the message that there are consequences for his attacks on the royals—his entire family has turned its back on him.” 

Fellow royal biographer Duncan Larcombe added that “Bombshell news like Kate’s [cancer diagnosis] puts things into perspective, and Harry isn’t immune from being filled with regrets and what ifs,” he said, per The Daily Express. “Kate was like the sister Harry never had, and he is probably full of regret at how his relationship with her and William has collapsed so spectacularly.”