It is both alarming and fascinating how many times we overlook sexist statements, comments, and questions on a day-to-day basis. Sexism is such an ingrained part of our culture that we do not even register a lot of what is said, let alone call it out or rebuff it. From the office, to the bar, to the home, it pays to give a little more attention to what is said and the subtext within it. Its frequency and ease will shock you!
Photo Credit: AFP; A woman poses with a sign reading 'Champs-Elysees, 3 am in the morning, 4 guys in a car whistle at us, and after receiving no response, they back up and start insulting us.'
"Can you send the notes from the meeting?"
In former jobs, I have attended meetings (with varying levels of attendee seniority) with me as the only female. It has often been expected for me to assume the secretarial duties of note taking and sharing. Often the most junior person takes responsibility for this and if that person was me, I did it happily. Often I was not the most junior and it was still my task. And I did it with no thought at all.
"Her husband/dad must be loaded!"
When I have been out with my male friends and we have encountered a glamorous, affluent looking woman – bling, designer threads, chic everything...the assumption is that it is not her money. Why don't we assume she is an entrepreneur/banker/success story herself? Would we say a dapper looking gentleman must be the result of a wealthy wife or mother? Nope.
"The hot one."
When describing or identifying someone, it is much more acceptable to mention a woman's looks. Men comment far more on a woman's appearance than we comment on men's appearance. Women are often explained as "cute, attractive, pretty, tall, blonde". Somehow it seems reasonable that a woman's looks are on the table for discussion. Notice how men often use these as personal identifiers and reference a woman's level of attractiveness when talking about them.
Photo Credit: AFP; A woman pastes a flyer with text reading 'Zone without harassment' on a wall as she takes part in a protest
"What a bitch."
Women are described as bitches when men are "assertive", "aggressive" or "demanding". This happens to female managers everywhere. Aligned with the bitchiness reference, I have heard things like, "she must have her period" if a man thinks a woman is being unreasonable. Women are much less able to show authority and give orders without escaping criticism. Female leaders are always expected to be gentler, softer, and more empathetic.
"What's for dinner?"
Think about this one. Sure – I love to cook and my husband asks me this daily, as I am the one who usually decides. But even in group and social settings - such as vacations and dinner parties - women are expected to put the food on the table. The hostess gets peppered with questions and the host is permitted to chill out. And if by chance the man is the cook – he is showered with praise and the woman told how fortunate she is that her husband cooks!
"Stop being so bossy!"
Sheryl Sandberg's "#banbossy" campaign really highlighted this one. She said, "I want all young girls to not be told that they are bossy, but that they have leadership skills." Hooray!
"Baby brain!"
When there is the arrival of a newborn, the mother is always referenced as the exhausted, affected one. References to things like baby brain, sleep deprivation, and disturbed professional performance are directed much more at the woman than the dad.
Interestingly, when I discussed this topic with my girlfriends, what came up is not just what is said by men, but what is not said. When purchasing a car recently, my friend (a super-smart, savvy, and well researched buyer) said she was taken much more seriously and was given much more information when her fiancé was with her. I read about a woman looking at real estate for her new business who said the same thing – when her male friend came she received much better, more thorough service.
As intelligent, strong, and capable women we do not need to suffer the status quo – we can challenge it. It starts with our awareness. So when you hear these blatantly sexist comments, stand up for yourself and your entire sisterhood out there.
Related:
When Geeks Attack: Sexual Harrassment and Assault in the Tech Field
Women at MIT Speak Out
-
Gwen Stefani Says She Didn't Know Husband Blake Shelton "Existed" Before Meeting Him on 'The Voice'"I never listened to country music, so while Blake was super successful, I never even knew he existed before I met him."
-
Prince Harry Prepares for January Trial in Illegal Information Gathering Lawsuit Against UK TabloidThe Duke of Sussex’s lawyer, David Sherborne, confirmed the case is moving forward.
-
Jennifer Lawrence Extends Her Chic Maternity Vintage Streak in an Archival Black SuitThe actress is expecting her second child with husband Cooke Maroney.
-
36 Ways Women Still Aren't Equal to MenIt's just one of the many ways women still aren't equal to men.
-
EMILY's List President Laphonza Butler Has Big Plans for the OrganizationUnder Butler's leadership, the largest resource for women in politics aims to expand Black political power and become more accessible for candidates across the nation.
-
Want to Fight for Abortion Rights in Texas? Raise Your Voice to State LegislatorsEmily Cain, executive director of EMILY's List and and former Minority Leader in Maine, says that to stop the assault on reproductive rights, we need to start demanding more from our state legislatures.
-
Your Abortion Questions, AnsweredHere, MC debunks common abortion myths you may be increasingly hearing since Texas' near-total abortion ban went into effect.
-
The Future of Afghan Women and Girls Depends on What We Do NextBetween the U.S. occupation and the Taliban, supporting resettlement for Afghan women and vulnerable individuals is long overdue.
-
How to Help Afghanistan Refugees and Those Who Need AidWith the situation rapidly evolving, organizations are desperate for help.
-
It’s Time to Give Domestic Workers the Protections They DeserveThe National Domestic Workers Bill of Rights, reintroduced today, would establish a new set of standards for the people who work in our homes and take a vital step towards racial and gender equity.
-
The Biden Administration Announced It Will Remove the Hyde AmendmentThe pledge was just one of many gender equity commitments made by the administration, including the creation of the first U.S. National Action Plan on Gender-Based Violence.
