Do Nudie Pics of Chicks Turn You On?
I'm straight, straight, straight as a pencil. And yet ... the new naked photos of Milla Jovovich make me a little warm in the shorts.
Lovelies:
It's been a bit of a strange week--among other things, I tried to break up with my therapist today, but she told me (rather ominously?) that she didn't think that was a good idea because I still have lots of problems getting truly close to people (mainly men); truly intimate with them.
Sometimes I don't know if she's right or if it's just that the perfect relationship for me hasn't quite blossomed yet. If, when that happens, maybe it will all seem fairly easy and straightforward for me; maybe I'll sink into the intimacy like a cat into a velvet cushion.
???
Thoughts, my people? What's your take on this question?
# # # # #
Anyway ... before I go on, please let me make a disclaimer: THE REST OF THIS POST IS A LOT MORE SEXUALLY EXPLICIT THAN MY USUAL. SO IF YOU ARE FEELING PRUDISH, YOU MAY NOT WANT TO CONTINUE READING!
Stay In The Know
Get exclusive access to fashion and beauty trends, hot-off-the-press celebrity news, and more.
# # # # #
In more frivolous news ... has anyone seen the naked pictures of Milla Jovovich? She posed completely nude for the Fall/Winter issue of the French magazine Purple. The shots are in black-and-white, and I turned rather red in the cheeks while looking at them. Because the Ukranian-born model-actress--who starred in Return to the Blue Lagoon and some other films you probably haven't heard of, and also appeared in a series of L'Oreal ads--looks totally hot, if I may say so.
The two sexiest pictures are here and here--and they are totally NSFW.*
Straight ladies out there in the reader-sphere: Is it just me, or do you also get turned on when you see a beautiful woman posing so provocatively in her birthday suit?
I mean, look, I can handle myself in the gym locker room. It's not like I start to quiver when I see the other chicks yanking off their jog bras and under-roos before duck-stepping into the shower in their flip-flops. I also don't watch porn or look at it--not counting the stuff in one issue of Penthouse, in which I had an essay. (For the record: I also saw part of a video, once, in college, about the exploits of a woman named Juicy Lucy. I walked out half-way through; it just didn't hold my attention.)
And yet ... when I inadvertently come across pictures like these ones of Jovovich, I generally feel pretty turned on. Now, I know what you're thinking, but I'm a not a lesbian or even bisexual: I've been hit on by women, and even kissed one once (a good story for another day)--but I can say with certainty that I'm not interested in having a female as a life partner, or even as a "friend with benefits."
So why is it that these pictures turn me on?
Why is it, similarly, that the only dirty dreams I have involve women?
Frankly, I think the answer is pretty simple. Mainly, I think what happens when I see a woman in a suggestive pose--rather than one folded over near her discarded yoga pants, clipping her toenails in the buff--it makes me think of myself in that position. And from there I think of some man (perhaps the last person I kissed) watching me in that position. And from there, I think of what would happen next ...
And, well, you get the picture. The very naked, very erotic, very black-and-white picture.
Ladies: tell me: am I the only one? Or do you get where I'm coming from on this?
And guys? Yes, this was a post all about naked chicks and the women who get hot looking at them. You're welcome.
[Credit href='http://blogs.nerve.com/scanner/2009/09/09/milla-jovovich-celebrates-her-marriage-by-posing-completely-naked/' target='_blank' title='Scanner post on Milla">Nerve\'s Scanner.']
xxx
------------------------
*Not safe for work! Don't open them on your screen in the office--unless you work in San Francisco or at a porn shop or something!
-
Prince William and Princess Kate's "First Priority" Is "Very Different" Than Queen Elizabeth's Was
The Prince and Princess of Wales are changing the modern monarchy.
By Kristin Contino
-
Hate to Break It to You, But Tariffs Are About to Make Your Beauty Routine a Lot Pricier
Here are the treatments that are most vulnerable to price hikes.
By Danielle Sinay
-
My Favorite Victoria Beckham Beauty Staples Nail the Balance Between Rocker Chick and Upper East Side Mom
See the photos for proof.
By Julia Marzovilla
-
The All-Time Favorite Sex Positions of 11 Real Women
Features "It makes me feel like the sexiest woman on earth."
By The Editors
-
The 22 Best Vibrators, According to Sex Toy Experts
The vibes are immaculate.
By Gabrielle Ulubay
-
The 20 Best Sex Games for Couples in 2023
Who said game nights need to be wholesome?
By Gabrielle Ulubay
-
The 14 Best Lubes for Every Need
Good sex should always go smoothly.
By Gabrielle Ulubay
-
COVID Forced My Polyamorous Marriage to Become Monogamous
For Melanie LaForce, pandemic-induced social distancing guidelines meant she could no longer see men outside of her marriage. But monogamy didn't just change her relationship with her husband—it changed her relationship with herself.
By Melanie LaForce
-
100 Sex Songs That Won't Make You Cringe
Features Dim the lights and hit play on this sex songs — the perfect playlist of songs to have sex to.
By The Editors
-
33 Unexpected Valentine's Day 2023 Date Ideas
Features A.k.a. not dinner and roses.
By The Editors
-
How to Stay Safe Using Dating Apps and Websites
How To Did you know your favorite dating apps may be selling your intimate information? Swipe right on privacy with these key safety tips.
By Jenny Hollander