The Only Two Flirty Body Language Moves You Need to Know

The flirty body language that works!

I recently spoke to Jena Pincott, author of Do Gentlemen Really Prefer Blondes?: Bodies, Behavior, and Brains — The Science Behind Sex, Love, and Attraction. She had some interesting insights into the basics of flirtatious body language, which I thought I'd share with you....

Me: What subtle body language works best when a woman wants a man to know she's interested?

Jena: The answer is deceptively simple: Smile and make direct eye contact. Guys usually approach women only after she has made eye contact. *One study showed that it takes about thirteen glances before the average guy gulps down his inhibitions enough to approach a woman!*

Me: Thirteen glances? Wow! I always feel like I'm being a total floozie if I return a look more than two or three times. But to hell with the shyness, huh?

Jena: Yes. The smile, whether a broad grin or a coy pursing of the lips, usually seals the deal — it reduces any ambiguity about your intentions.

After contact is made, women make their interest known subconsciously...we tousle our hair, caress our wineglass, lick our lips, rub our necks, position our bodies in the man's direction. *What I like about body language studies is that they prove that behavior matters as much, if not more than, looks. One study found that women who make thirty-five or more signals in an hour are approached by an average of four guys, whereas women who don't signal, even if they're prettier, often don't get approached at all.*

Me: That
is
pretty awesome...What does a man do when he wants to let a woman know he's into her?

Jena: Before the man walks over to you and makes his move, he might put on a show from across the room. Not unlike alpha male chimps, some motivated men might make "space maximization movements" — like spreading their legs while sitting, throwing their arms over the back of adjacent chairs, or slapping their friends' backs. This is appealing to women because it displays social dominance, which many women find sexy. (Not all of us, though: I personally go for the nerdy guy who watches the whole scene, amused, and has more subtle ways of asserting himself.)

Me: What kind of body language from men is a sure sign he's NOT interested — no matter how friendly he might seem?

Jena: *For both sexes, folded arms, even if accompanied by a smile, suggest tentativeness and defensiveness.* Another intimacy-avoidance move is the sideways turn. If a person positions his or her body at a ninety-degree angle from you when being face-to-face is just as easy, that doesn't bode well. Lack of eye contact is the most obvious sign. If he's looking over your shoulder (or if you catch yourself looking over his), or if he appears distracted in any way — don't fool yourself into thinking there's chemistry (unless he's really shy and nervous).

Latest in Sex love
LoveHoney
The Most Discreet (and Effective) Sex Toys for Everyone
collage of a woman, a Bloomi sex toy, and a silhouette of two people about to kiss
The Best Non-Phallic Sex Toys
woman laying down among flowers
Sex Toys That Double As Perfect Gifts
woman touching wet shoulder in the shower
Womanizer Just Unveiled the First-Ever Shower Head Sex Toy
grapefruit on white satin sheets
Lovehoney Is Having a Rare Sale on Its Best-Selling, Crazy Popular Sex Toys
woman's hand dangling flower
Sex Toy Brand Velvet Co. Is Having A Huge Sale This Month
Latest in Feature
three women with red white and blue nails
The Viral Blue Nail Theory Needs to Take a Seat
edible perfume brand amorecco
Edible Fragrances Are Trending—But Are They Actually Safe to Eat?
millie bobby brown in black with blonde hair
Millie Bobby Brown Chopped Her Hair Into a Blonde Bob
four women with bob haircuts
Now Is the Perfect Time to Embrace the Blunt Bob Trend
HA vs CaHA Fillers
What's the Difference Between HA and CaHA Fillers? Here's What You Need to Know
michelle monaghan in the mood
Michelle Monaghan Feels the Sexiest After an Underrated K-Beauty Ritual and $128 Body Moisturizer