Sure, he wines and dines you, even splurges on expensive gifts and vacations for two. But until you get intimate with his bank account, you wont know for sure how his financial situation is really looking. The speed with which he whips out the plastic isnt directly proportional to the depths of his pockets. Your big spender could be hiding behind a mountain of debt. Before shacking up or tying the knot, make sure you know his current financial situation and how its looking for the future.
Question #1: How much do you make?
how to talk about money, money and relationships, money and men
how much do you make
Though it may make you cringe, you should ask him how much he makes. Dont guess based on his firm or industry. Assumptions wont cut it. Find out exactly how much hes taking home every paycheck to get a sense of what his money situation is like now. He may be up for a promotion, but what if he doesnt get it? This cuts both ways, though. Youll both need to see how much the other is bringing in to even begin a reasonable discussion about what you can and cant afford as a couple.
Question #2: Got any debt?
how to talk about money, money and relationships, money and men
debt
Student loans, who doesnt have them? But five maxed-out credit cards is another story one he better have an explanation for. Of course youll want to know exactly how much he owes. But more important is the issue of whether hes paying it down. No plan in place should be considered a billowing red flag. You dont want your credit suffering because his has. \r\n
Question #3: Where do you see yourself in 5 to 10 years?
how to talk about money, money and relationships, money and men
future
Is he positioned for a promotion, or is he looking to change careers entirely? If hes planning to go back to school, hell more than likely have to take out another loan. According to FinAid.org, a law school graduate is on average $80,000 in debt by the time he gets that diploma. While higher education can be worth it for career advancement, will you be the primary breadwinner while hes hitting the books? And if you want to go back to school too, nows the time to pipe up and discuss how you both plan on eating.
Question #4: Are we going Dutch?
how to talk about money, money and relationships, money and men
going dutch
During the courtship, he treats you to dinners, movies the works. Will that change once the ring is on your finger? Will he expect you to contribute half (or more) once you\'re past dating? Ask whether he envisions splitting bills or opening a joint checking account. Trust us, you dont want a man nickel and diming your every expense. But you also dont want to have to justify every purchase you make. Hash out financial arrangements before making any big plans.
Question #5: How many kids?
how to talk about money, money and relationships, money and men
how many children
Offspring carry a pretty hefty price tag one youll most certainly need to plan for. It costs more than $200,000 to raise a child to age 18, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture. That total includes: clothing, shelter, transportation, education, and food. But it doesnt even include the inevitable miscellaneous expenses: soccer gear, birthday presents, summer camp. Now that youve settled on your ideal number, pull out the calculator to see how youll support the brood.
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